Santa Clara Meditation Column – What are some psychological facts about love?

I might’ve been too extreme, but I used to once define love as an incomplete, selfish obsession laced with contradiction and physical greed. That was my psychological state before I realized its true meaning.

When I was a senior in college, I was a two timer. My heart was filled with pride as I was courted by two men at the same time. “I’m pretty, smart and charming.” is what I thought of myself and what I wanted to protray. I always made up my appearance, read psychology books, and lied about my family’s wealth to keep this image and feeling. My self-esteem increased whenever I saw the expression and gesture of a man who longed for me physically. This was the type of love I knew and I invested time, money and my passion for such love.

Now, everyone who is married or in a long term relationship knows that this physical love changes over time. It cools down, and then it gets smaller. We may think “The love has cooled down.”, and gradually the partner becomes an enemy. You hate your partner for not giving you the type of love you think you want. You may also feel ‘There is no more love between my partner and me. We are just comrades who raise a child together.’ For me, love was just something that satisfied my ego and my physical needs.
Let’s talk about the love between parents and children. Oh my! This is another dark corner of my mind too. As stated in my previous article, my second son has ADHD syndrome which is a learning disability. I didn’t like him much as he had been late to develop, unlike my firstborn. It seemed that I might always have to take care of him and he would ruin my old age. However, as a parent, I began to love him because of the obligation that I had to take care of and love my children. No, actually it was more than love, I started obsessing over my second son.

Haven’t we all tried this kind of nasty love where we try to change someone to our liking? Where the hell is his perfect love and does it even exist?

The answer to that is, it does exist and it’s in my mind, and in your mind, too. We all have it in our own minds, but we do not know how to find it.

These days, computers are being updated with A.I. Humans are also being upgraded by transitioning from the material world to the spiritual world, and the era of human completion is opening beyond the age of incompletion. We know through brain research that all of our thoughts are being stored in our brain and those thoughts are controlling us. The thoughts stored in ones brain are extremely subjective, fragmentary, and false. Love in this situation is also false because my thoughts are fake. I was lucky that I found a wonderful most updated meditation method. Using this method, I looked back and abandoned the fake love that I lived, saw, heard, and experienced. When I discarded my obsession with painful love, my mind was refreshed. And I got it. Human consciousness is as big as this world. When I realized that the mind as big as the world is in me, I could love my husband, children, parents, friends, and neighbors unconditionally.

I’m still lacking in many respects but I saw hope and I’m not afraid anymore, because hope is in my heart. Hope you find that hope as well, and take care.

by Donna Seo

https://santaclarameditation.blogspot.com/2022/09/santa-clara-meditation-column-what-are.html