Santa Clara Meditation Confidence – Two Completely Different Personalities Learn To Co-exist

Jo-Young Kim / Dae-Jeon University Student,
Jung-Won Park / Han-Yang University Student

Two friends: one describes himself as a bookworm, the other is a self-proclaimed “playboy.” These guys have completely different personalities, hobbies, interests, and relationships. Even though these guys have nothing in common, through meditation, they’ve become as close as brothers. With all the differences between these two guys, it sounds like they would never be friends, but through this meditation, they learned to co-exist.

I studied all the time; you only seemed to care about your bike

Kim: When I was in school, all I did was study. People called me a “study robot.”

Park: Really? I didn’t go to school much because I fell in love with riding my bike in middle school and high school. My parents were always working and rarely home, so my friends always came to my house to hang out. If any of my friends ran away from home, they would all come to my house. It was a runaway youth home. (laughs)

Kim: I was always scared of kids like you in class. (laughs)

Park: Well, we never bothered the kids who were just trying to study. I know it sounds unbelievable but they were just so different from us.

Kim: Really? It’s surprising to me that you actually did meditation.

Park: When I was in middle school, I went to a youth meditation retreat. It was the first time my mom really urged me to do something. My mom is the one who accepts everything and takes care of all the dirty work at home, so I couldn’t really refuse her request. Since I just got out of the army, meditation became my primary focus, but it was still really hard for me to sit and meditate. I always asked myself, “what am I doing right now,” and think, “I should go out tonight.” (laughs) We met for the first time while meditating.

Kim: Right. I met my brother (Park) when I was in the first grade. When I was in high school, I first tried meditating. I started because my dad was already meditating and he suggested I try it because I was depressed.

Park: By the way, when did you become such a model student?

Kim: I was bullied when I was in 5th grade, in elementary school. Since then, nobody liked me. That’s why I started to focus on my grades. Also, if you do well in mathematics, you will receive recognition. That’s why I started studying so hard.

Park: I was an only child, so when I was little, I wondered if it was a good thing. When I started elementary school by myself, I realized school was a hard place for me. I think I was hurt a lot at that time. From then on, I started to put on a brave face to protect myself. Around 5th or 6th grade, I started fighting with others. I am weak, but the world hurt me. The world made me this way. When I was in middle school, I started to try to fill my inferiority by surrounding myself with friends. It’s the same thing you tried to solve by studying so much.

Kim: Yes. It was definitely my inferiority.

Park: I tried to compensate for my inferiority because I just felt empty inside.

I naturally feel and understand the other person’s heart

Kim: Now [after meditation] that I can see my heart, I can let go of that inferior feeling. When I meditate about it, my mind disappears and I know that it doesn’t exist. I’m generally a good person, but letting it go through meditation makes me more comfortable with my friends. Now I have a better sense of humor and I’ve learned how to listen to others.

Park: Because I let go of my pride and inferiority, my heart and mind become cleared of my previous standards. So, naturally, I don’t hurt others with my expectations and standards and they can act more natural around me. I’ve just thrown away the little things, but now I’m working on much bigger things that I’m seeing, so when I talk to people, I often feel the person’s heart naturally. So now, I’m not hurting others with what I say.

Kim: There was this one guy I went to college with who I just couldn’t understand. He seemed ignorant. However, as I looked back at him while meditating, I saw that he gets along with people with his style or personality. It’s just like what I did by trying to be recognized for studying all the time. He’s the same as me, but I thought I was right about everything and it was confusing him. Once I saw that I was wrong about him, we’ve been getting along fine.

Park: If I get rid of all my judgements and expectations, then he will feel comfortable around me.

Kim: I think that’s right. When I first met you, I was scared. But at some point after getting to know you, we became very comfortable around each other.

Park: When I meditated for the first time, I was so busy letting go of all this stuff, I had no time to look around. Then I saw you and I thought that you were such a great example to me.

Kim: I learn a lot by watching you, actually. Now I feel more confident when I’m more flexible with others. That’s how bad I am!

Park: When I meditate all the walls that I’ve made come down, so people are more at ease around me. I am popular at school. He even told me that his grades in school used to be a 1.3 average, but now he’s at the top of his class and even got a scholarship. All this after 6 months of meditation. So much has changed for me and you. I’ve even seen you dancing after meditating. You’re so good.

Kim: Am I? (Laughter) I used to be so envious of others in school that could sing and dance well. I wanted to go and sing and dance with them, but in my mind I felt like I had no time to play, I should always study. That’s one of my standards in my mind that I’m trying to break out of, actually.

From poor grade point average to full scholarship; from shy guy to dancer

Park: As I try to break my habits or my fixed standards, the process itself is actually enjoyable regardless of the outcome. As I meditate, my old thoughts disappear and I become able to understand them easily and academically.

Kim: Right. As I practice meditating, I feel more confident in oriental medicine. Oriental medicine uses a lot of fundamental principles along with the yin and yang of the body and mind.

Park: If you meditate, studying engineering is fun. It’s really easy. From the thick text book, there’s only one page I really have to study and memorize. Studying engineering is just about learning about the principles of the world such as when you hit something, it will break or if you rub something hard, it will create heat. That’s it. (Laughs). In the past, I used to read the first two to three pages of the book and read it again and again in order understand but eventually I would give up. But now, as I open the book, I can see what is important. Then I memorize the formula that is important and solve two to three problems with it. After I understand it and truly make it mine, I start to look at the book from the beginning. I can see and understand everything. I can become one with the book. (Laughs)

Kim: Wow! that’s really good. How much did your grades go up?

Park: I haven’t fallen below 4.3 after meditation.

Kim: So it’s an A+? Wow! Just as you say you can become one with your studies, how good would it be if we became one with everything. We are all children from this Universe. Why can’t we live peacefully? There are so many religions, political parties and governments, and I don’t know why we can’t figure out how to live better.

Park: It’s been like that for a long time, but I think we have to start by giving up our selves. We were originally one. If we give up our mind about how things should be, you know. If I get out of my small mind and live with a Universe mind, I can live happily. To do that, I think meditation is the only way.

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